When ordering a tonic, you mean a Coke…not quinine water.

You actually enjoy driving around rotaries.

You almost feel disappointed when someone doesn’t flip you the bird when you cut them off or steal their parking space.

You know how to pronounce the names of towns like Worcester, Billerica, Haverhill, Barre and Cotuit.

You have driven to New Hampshire on a Sunday in order to get beer (thanks to Romney we no longer have to do this).

You know that there are two Bulger brothers, and that they’re both crooks.

You know what they sell at a packie.

You know at least one bar where you can get something to drink after last call.

You can actually find your way around Boston.

Evacuation Day is a recognized holiday.

You know what First Night is.

You know at least one guy named Sean, Pat, Whitey, Red, Bud or Seamus.

You think the rest of the country owes you for Thanksgiving and Independence Day.

You have never been to Cheers.

When the words ‘WICKED’ and ‘GOOD’ go together.

You knew that there was no chance in hell that the Pats would move to Hartford.

You have gone to at least one party at UMass.

The curse of the Bambino is taught in public schools.

You own a “Yankees Suck” shirt or hat.

You think Doug Flutie is the greatest athlete ever.

You remember exactly where you were when the ball rolled through Buckner’s legs.

You pray for the Red Sox to win the World Series not this season, but in your lifetime.

You know how to make a frappe.

You know that “Big Dig” is also a kind of ice cream you can get at Brigham’s.

You actually know how to merge from 6 lanes of traffic down to one.

You never go to “Cape Cod”, you go “down the Cape”.

You think that Roger Clemens, Wade Boggs and Derek Jeter are more evil than Whitey Bulger.

You went to Old Sturbridge Village, Plymouth Plantation, or both, on field trip in grammar school.

You’re aware that there is a town, somewhere in Massachusetts, named Brimfield where they have the biggest outdoor antique market in the world.

You can drive to the mountains and the ocean all in one day.

You know that the Mass Pike is some sort of strange weather dividing line.

You know that P-Town isn’t the name of a new rap group.

You know that Ludlow is 90% Portuguese and that Fall River is 90% Lebanese.

You do not recognize the letter “R” as a part of the English language.

You’ve called something “wicked pissa” (Thank you, Duane Ingalls Glasscock!).

You have driven to either Rhode Island, New Hampshire or Vermont for a tattoo (this is now legal here).

You see people like Steven Tyler (Aerosmith), Dicky Barret (The Mighty, Mighty Bosstones), and Evan Dando (The Lemonheads) in the local supermarket and it doesn’t phase you (Joe Perry and his wife were regular customers at a video store I worked at).

You’ve slammed on your brakes to deter a tailgater.

Know at least three Tony’s, one Vinnie and a Frank(ie)

Paranoia sets in if you can’t see a Dunkin Donuts, ATM or CVS within eyeshot at all times.

You keep an ice scraper and can of de-icer on the floor of your car…year round.

You still try to order curly fries from Burger King.

You order iced coffee in January.

You know what candlepin bowling is.

You drive 45 minutes to New Hampshire to save $5 in sales tax (you can still do this, but now the DOR nicely reminds you every tax season that you’re still supposed to pay MA sales tax, even if you bought it outside of Massacusetts)

You’ve pulled out of a side street and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you can make a left.

You’ve bragged about the money you’ve saved at The Christmas Tree Shop

You know what a “regular” coffee is